PDA

View Full Version : Funnies


Mswings
08/14/2004, 08:56 PM
16 Statements That Make Sense (or do they?) :.


1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it? :type:

2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes
that something new to eat will have materialized? :dunno:

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice"?
How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna
try to stuff in that slot?

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put
it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from
the end you first try? :mad:

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying
your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we
say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say,
"That hurt, you stupid idiot?" :!!!:

11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a
trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was
in summer when we complained about the heat?

14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes? :rolleyes:

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like
your wife told you to do it? :p

16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you! :D

PDG
08/14/2004, 09:07 PM
17. Don't you hate it when you go to pick something up and you drop it or miss it like 3 times? I hate that.

Lantaarnpaal
08/18/2004, 05:40 AM
Lol, these are funny, i've got some statements like that in dutch, i will post them soon

calamityjane
08/18/2004, 09:22 AM
Why do they put WARNING!! Stop engine first! on a fan belt package? Does it mean some MORON tried to change one without first turning off the car?

Silky
08/18/2004, 11:05 AM
[QUOTE=calamityjane]Why do they put WARNING!! Stop engine first! on a fan belt package? Does it mean some MORON tried to change one without first turning off the car?[/QUOTE]

There's ALWAYS a moron who'll try it without turning the engine off....:)

TinCupid
08/18/2004, 06:17 PM
yup.... :)

Maiden
09/02/2004, 06:51 AM
1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Bwahahahahaha...good stuff....almost would have to agree with that....I literally hafta pull myself away somedays!

fray
09/02/2004, 11:08 AM
calamityjane - for you: :)

calamityjane
09/02/2004, 11:34 AM
The man or the sign?

fray
09/02/2004, 11:39 AM
hehe the whole thing...
take the man if you want... he's too stoopid to keep in the gene pool anyways... :.

calamityjane
09/02/2004, 12:36 PM
I don't want him!!! <puts on garlic>

Are you implying there are one or two men out there worth keeping in the gene pool?

LOL

Dave
09/02/2004, 12:56 PM
[QUOTE=calamityjane]I don't want him!!! <puts on garlic>

Are you implying there are one or two men out there worth keeping in the gene pool?

LOL[/QUOTE]What not even George Clooney or ...... Sil take over here will you? :)

Of course you know the only way to tell a persons sex is to take their genes down ..... <GROAN>

calamityjane
09/02/2004, 01:47 PM
LOL I was just asking because I have YET to find a man worth keeping. Youa re all so dang irritating.

calamityjane
09/02/2004, 01:48 PM
OH btw yes I was married for 20 years I have four boys LOL. And I now live with my ex husband.

I decided there was no point exchanging there aren't any better out there.

Ya know if only the pawn shop would take husbands...

Of course NOBODY would ever go back and get them

Silky
09/02/2004, 01:56 PM
[QUOTE=calamityjane]OH btw yes I was married for 20 years I have four boys LOL. And I now live with my ex husband.

I decided there was no point exchanging there aren't any better out there.

Ya know if only the pawn shop would take husbands...

Of course NOBODY would ever go back and get them[/QUOTE]

Think of all those pawn tickets you'd have laying around the house....:D

Dave
09/02/2004, 02:06 PM
Could you take one out on loan for a couple of days (and nights) then return him when you've done with him? For a small fee of course my dear (best Shylock impression)

Pawn for porn :)