To break the ice....

[Silky]

In order to "break the ice" a bit for our new members, I think we should all post a funny little story about ourselves, so that everyone will see the "human" side of us. I'll start...since this is my big idea. I hope you'll all join in.

I remember one of my very first "dates". It was with a boy named Charles...I think I was in 5th grade. It wasn't really a date date...more of an "I'll meet you there" sort of thing with several other friends. So we decided to go bowling. Now, I'd never bowled a game in my life, and I was really reluctant to embarrass myself in front of Charles. He was, after all, the most gorgeous boy in my class. But, not to be an old stick in the mud, I finally relented and arranged with several of my girlfriends to go together and meet the "guys" at the alleys. So we all stroll into the alley, and being 5th grade girls we're giggly and giddy with anticipation. Of course we think we're really cool...on dates and all. So we meet the guys, and get our lovely bowling shoes (which are great accessories for any outfit...HA!) and go to our assigned alley. We're all putting on our shoes and finding bowling balls to use, and laughing and having a good time. I hadn't told anyone I didn't know how to bowl, so I watched as my friends, one by one, got up and bowled. Now, none of them were professionals, but they all managed to keep the ball in their own alley and at least knock down a few pins. Finally it's my turn, and I can tell you the sweat (or should I say glisten) was starting collect behind my knees. I was terrified of making a fool of myself. But, not to be left out, I stroll up to the marks on the alley and prepare to launch my first ball....and launch I did. I took three steps forward...confident that I could do this...slowly swung my arm back in order to catapault the ball forward, and before I could swing my arm back towards the alley...yes, you got it, the ball went flying out of my hand....straight behind me...straight at Charles. Luckily he was able to vault out of the way before getting beaned by his dates ball...and hilarity soon ensued. While my friends laughed and giggled at my expense, I slowly walked back to the seats...sat down...removed my ever so beautiful bowling shoes...put on my sneakers...picked up my purse...and strolled out of the alley. I never said a word...and never looked back. I was never asked on a bowling date again...LOL!

As I look back now, there are a thousand ways I could have reacted that would have been more appropriate...but hey, at that age, hurling bowling balls at your date is a little on the embarrassing side.

So...let's hear one of your most embarrassing stories!

[Dave]

I bet you wish you'd clobbered a few more subsequently! LOL (present company excepted of course!)

/me ducks for cover.

Embarrassing moment .... hmmm it takes a lot more than that to embarrass me so it would be unprintable I'm afraid. There was one incident wayyyyyyyyy back when I was 11/12 ....

Are you sitting comfortably? Well don't bother it will all be over very quickly.

My mom was going into hospital, myself my two brothers and sister were being farmed out to the rest of the family for the 3 week duration as my dad couldn't look after us during the daytime and it was in term time too. I got my grandparents .... well for the first week anyway. Then my uncle John was going to take over.

He arranged to pick me up one Saturday morning, drop my stuff off at his place then take me fishing .... something I'd never done before and thoroughly enjoyed .... but that's not it. Before going to his house he had to drop in work for an hour or so, a factory of some sort. I'd never been in a "real work place" before.

So to keep me from being bored he hands me this roll of labels and says go and stick one on all those boxes over there. So .... there I am tearing a label off the roll, licking it and trying to stick it to the box. It wouldn't stick! I kept trying ....

My uncle and a few of his mates were watching me and started to laugh loudly. I didn't get it .... until they showed me that the labels peeled off the roll and had sticky backs ....

:blush:

[Silky]

I see Dave and I are the only "humans" around here. All you other perfect people must be robots or somethin'. ;)

[TrinityOfOne]

Not at all, I lock my embarassing moments away, even I don't know what they are :/

[TinCupid]

I think mine are Blocked....I think that's what the Doc called it....

[Silky]

I saved my "most embarrassing" moment. Let's just say it involved a gymnastics instructor, an uneven parallel bar, and a bodily function. :D

[TinCupid]

oops :eek:

[TrinityOfOne]

The mind boggles

[Silky]

Believe, me Trin...it was the "mind" that boggled...LOL!

[TrinityOfOne]

Actually Silk, I don't think I want to know :)

[Dave]

How much not to tell? :)

[Dsquared]

Who doesn't like a good practical joke?

To the untrained it might seem some of these jokes were mean but I never, ever thought of any of it as cruel or mean spirited. It was a game, a way of one-upmanship and ingenuity and fun.

My father was the source of the Practical Joke gene in our blood. Mom tolerated our fun as long as it wasnít abusive, cruel, and destructive and could be cleaned up without any permanent stains! Dad was the wellspring from which we drank, we soaked up all his stories of jokes he had played and had played on him. He would only admonish our antics if he saw they were getting out of hand, otherwise he pretty much let us be.

Very early on we kids all learned the basics. The best way to short sheet a bed, the loose top on salt and peppershakers, the alarm clock under the bed, etc. We also learned to be on guard for the same jokes. Iíd always check the shaker and then put a little salt on my palm and taste it to make sure it wasnít sugar, or vise versa. A step up from that was the placement of unusual items in somebodyís bed. I remember I sowed my brotherís bed with grasshoppers one night. I had spent the day catching them, I must have had about 50, and I put them under his sheets. Whoo hoo, the grasshoppers didnít come close to jumping as high as he did when he slipped into bed!
Another trick was to put salt in between the sheets, you couldnít readily see it and if it was a hot night and you were sweaty it would start to sting. Or grapesÖ I discovered, much to my displeasure, the bottom of my bed filled with white grapes. When I stuck my feet down there and squished a few and I was sure it was something living. I didnít want to pull back the covers and see! That one was courtesy of one of my sisters.
Beds seemed to be a major theme. Probably because itís such a routine and your guard is down. You are tired and sleepy and not expecting anything out of the ordinary. Like the fact that some of the bedposts are on shims and the bed will rock when you turn over. Or the fact that the shims are at the foot of the bed and your sleeping on an incline. Thatís a weird feeling, it gives you dreams of falling. I used to sew a string into the top of my brotherís sheet and lead it under the cover and over to my bed. Iíd wait until he was just about asleep and then gently pull the sheet away from him. You could get him tossing and turning and pulling the covers up for about ten minutes before heíd catch on!
I remember one night my father and brother and I sneaking into my sisters room while they slept and we moved all the furniture in the room by about 3 inches one way or another. Itís just enough to completely throw you out of a rhythm.
Walkie-talkies were another great invention, you hide one in the bottom dresser drawer and make spooky noises on a stormy night. That was a pretty simple joke, one easily discovered. The more elaborate ones were the most fun. The fun wasnít so much in the execution as in the planning and design of the joke.
My brother and I once found a length of chain, which we put in the attic right over my sisterís room. From this we led a string over to a hole we had drilled in out bedroom closet. Weíd wait until the lights went out in their bedroom and then weíd give a little yank on the string. The chain would clink, clank and rumble across the ceiling and scare my sisters witless.
I remember grabbing a pair of shorts out of my dresser drawer and when I put hand in the pocket I pulled out a garden snake! Thatíll get your heart pumping.
I used to leave my closet door open, if it was closed that was a bad sign. Iëve had skulls, stuffed animals, buckets of water (and worse), sisters, ghosts, a hamster on a little harness, pigeons (Mom hated that one) and dogs come crawling, flying, jumping and swinging out at me over the years.
Our poor babysitters! I feel sorry now for Mom and Dad. They must have had a terrible time trying to find somebody willing to sit for us more than once. Iím sure my parents had to pay hazard duty to these poor girls! I had, at one time, tapped into the wires for front doorbell so I could ring it by remote control. I had that poor girl wearing out the carpet trying to answer the door for nobody. Sheíd just barely get the door shut and Iíd ring it again. She finally locked it and wouldnít answer it when my parents came home.
Weíd turn out the lights by the breakers and make noises, shut off the hot water if they were in the shower, and put Tabasco in their cola. I remember one of them used to get a friend to call, sheíd pretend it was my parents and they were coming home early. That ploy used to keep us in line, we never knew when Mom and Dad would show up and catch us, so we stayed good all night long.
Iíve found my skivviesí triple starched, itching powder in my gym shorts and a hole cut in the seat of my bathrobe. Iíve put frogs in lunch boxes, salamanders in my sisterís pocketbook and minnows in my brotherís gingerale. A friend and I filled my motherís locker at the yacht club with fiddler crabs and clams. She was not amused. Iíve tasted hot sauce smeared on my snorkel, lard on my sandwich instead of mayo, sardines in cupcakes and dog food served as stew.
I still give and receive phone calls at 3 AM, just to say hello. My wife will occasionally hide in the closet and jump out at me, it keeps me in shape! Hah, it reminds me of Inspector Closeau and Cato. ìCato? Where are you Cato? Come out you slimy yellow devil!î
My dad once put alum (a substance that sends your mouth into an unbreakable pucker) on my toothbrush. Itís tough to brush your teeth when you canít open your mouth! I got even, I wired the horn on his car into his turn signals. Every time he wanted to turn right the horn would honk in time with the flashers.
Youíd think that with all the tricks we played on each other weíd be a twisted bunch of crazed paranoids by now. I think weíve all turned out fairly normal. Even if I do refuse to open up a closet door, and I still taste my salt before shaking it on my food. And hey, this nervous tic is a little annoying but Iíve learned to live with it!

[TinCupid]

That was great D2! :)

[Mswings]

Hey D2, That was funny. You have had a strange childhood....or was that your adult life too? LOL Just incase you need theraphy...I worked in a mental hospital for over 15 years.... and Flower also worked there too...so if you need the couch, LOL.
Actually, you gave me some great ideas.....LOL

[Scott]

I worked in a mental hospital for over 15 years.... and Flower also worked there too...

And you both know TinCupid huh? hmmmm........


;)

[Dave]

D2 .... I like you! :)

That was great.

[Dsquared]

[QUOTE=Mswings]Hey D2, That was funny. You have had a strange childhood....or was that your adult life too? LOL Just incase you need theraphy...I worked in a mental hospital for over 15 years.... and Flower also worked there too...so if you need the couch, LOL.
Actually, you gave me some great ideas.....LOL[/QUOTE]

:D Thanks for the offer! I'll remember that when the hallucinations return. :eek:

[TinCupid]

[QUOTE=Jolt]And you both know TinCupid huh? hmmmm........


;)[/QUOTE]



<cough> Ummm, yeah well, you see....uh, I mean.....nevermind

[claven]

Sorry